Practical Empathy

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1. dimalFeb 2023
   Empathy. Our team already had a great culture of empathy and mutual respect. People just tried to see things from other's POV, or if they couldn't, they'd at least be respectful. To behave differently would have just seemed weird. I think that our manager and the founding members of the team set the tone early, and as the team grew, it just became the norm. When we lost that manager, things declined. The worst part is that when I look back at my own behavior, I lost my empathy. I felt like a rat in a cage and I behaved accordingly.

   If you already have that kind of empathic culture, then I think it's just about starting a "good enough" process and refining it as you go. If you don't, then you have to build empathy into the team. I found the book Practical Empathy to be helpful. But basically, if you treat someone with empathy, they can't help but start to feel empathy for you. I think we're wired that way. If your team doesn't have a high level of empathy, be the first.

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2. mjwhansenMar 2021
   It says a lot about you that you recognize that this is a skill that you need to work on and is worth working on.

   It is completely normal that you see yourself being sympathetic by creating solutions, when people are asking you for empathy.

   I'm writing a book aimed at developers on building empathy and applying it to business, called Deploying Empathy [1]. I'm writing it in public as a newsletter. I'm detailing specific actions you can take in conversations and customer interviews to build empathy.

   One of the things about listening to people is that the more you do it, the more empathetic you become as a person. It takes practice, but I promise you will get there.

   One of my own favorite books on this is Practical Empathy by Indi Young.

   Self-empathy is also an important step, and if you find you don't have the tools to show empathy in conversations, there's a good chance this is a skill you weren't taught growing up. For that, therapy is invaluable.

   [1] https://www.getrevue.co/profile/mjwhansen

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