Winning through intimidation

What Hacker News says

1. simsim33Feb 2024
   Winning through intimidation https://www.amazon.com/Winning-Through-Intimidation-Robert-R...
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2. SnoJohnOct 2023
   Robert Ringer wrote the classic on this type of behavior: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Ringer

   It's called Winning Through Intimidation, and it is a very funny story of how he learned to not get burned in real estate transactions by being prepared for the inevitable tricks people would try to play on him. Short and lots of sage advice.

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3. one2knowDec 2020
   "Winning Through Intimidation" by Robert Ringer.

   Or, just quit. I've taken conflict all the way through being fired multiple times and there really isn't a way to win if you are not part of the mafia. At a very huge ecommerce company they had SDE career training, and you are told bluntly all the people deciding things are cigar smoking mobsters so basically, you are a peon and you're fucked for a career if you are not in management. You need to enter a company through personal connections not skills, or it just isn't going to work no matter how much politics you try.

   There are tactics I call socialist tactics. Many people for instance being on the losing end of an argument having a dumb idea or no clue, will use their position as a management to call a large meeting, confuse all the people in it with bullshit, then get them to agree on something they don't understand. Another tactic is when challenged in a meeting, call for a instant vote (its a democracy) while pressuring people to vote for them. Third tactic is to meet for a few hours, decide everything you want, then try to force teammates into the meeting two hours later, then claim the whole team is on board with what they decided because everyone was in the meeting. Fourth tactic, is to lie continuously and whoever is around upper management the most/most face time wins with the most lies.

   I don't condone any of these, but shitty managers will use all of them and they seem to be learning them somewhere because I see them repeatedly.

   Perhaps the best advice for your situation is to praise publicly, criticize privately which is also what a lot of office bastards do all the time.

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4. unotiSep 2020
   A great resource to get you thinking along the right lines: the book Spin Selling[1]. This book is about doing selling involving long sales cycles, where it could take you a good amount of time to close the deal. This is often the case with enterprise software.

   An example of a great concept from this book that has shaped the way I approach things: You've heard of the concept of closing, where you ask the customer to buy the product. Spin selling extends that concept in the realm of a longer sales cycle that involves many steps such as demos, consulting sessions and so on. Every interaction you have with the customer has some desired outcome that eventually leads to the final sale. For example, your initial contacts with the prospect, the goal of those initial interactions is to get the demo scheduled. Or perhaps it's to introduce you to someone closer to the decision maker. In each interaction, you keep a goal in mind and close towards that goal.

   Three other books that were amazing and formative for me are below. These aren't about sales in particular but about making your own business in general, which includes sales in various degrees: 2. Good to Great 3. Crossing the Chasm 4. The E Myth

   Also an honorable mention goes to this book, which is more about marketing than sales: Winning Through Intimidation. The book isn't actually about intimidating people, but it's about branding, image, and approach. Despite the evil sounding title, it's an amazing resource.

   [1] https://www.amazon.com/Spin-Selling-Neil-Rackham/dp/05660768... [2] https://www.amazon.com/Good-Great-Some-Companies-Others/dp/0... [3] https://www.amazon.com/Crossing-Chasm-3rd-Disruptive-Mainstr... [4] https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Revisited-Small-Businesses-About... [5] https://www.amazon.com/Winning-through-Intimidation-Victor-B...

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5. strong_silent_tDec 2017
   "Extreme Ownership" was popular this year: https://www.amazon.com/Extreme-Ownership-U-S-Navy-SEALs/dp/1...

   My personal favourite is called /Winning Through Intimidation/ , I think it is much more relevant to our capitalistic and legalistic society than military memoirs or the ancients, as much as I enjoy them. https://www.amazon.com/Winning-through-Intimidation-Victor-B... . It is not prescriptive because it is a bit dated and specific to real estate, but the core ideas are rock solid.

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6. JugurthaAug 2017
   Maybe you truly weren't being sexist and you were so shocked as to create this thread because it deeply wounded you. Then again, maybe you are sexist and created this thread to have a trail that makes you appear distraught and violated when this thing blows up and say "See! Would I be so vexed as to create an HN thread if I were sexist!", playing the long con (it takes a special kind of mind to think like that)..

   Joking aside...

   Have you read Robert Ringer's "Winning Through Intimidation"?

   As the name doesn't imply, it's not about winning through intimidation, quite the opposite, it's about how to detect attempts to intimidate, manipulate, and take advantage of you, and what to do about it. It exposes some patterns many abusers use (appeal to honesty, accusations to entice apologies and guilt, etc).

   The author talks about many instances where he got screwed and what he learned from his master manipulators.

   A good week-end read.

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