The four tendencies
author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life. During her multibook investigation into understand human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change. The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought... · People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself. · How can I help someone to follow good advice? · People say I ask too many questions. · How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask--or who keeps telling me what to do? With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.
Stats for nerds
6recommend
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2018–2022years
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Mentions per year
What Hacker News says
- Check out "The Four Tendencies" by Gretchen Rubin. It describes almost this exact scenario and provides tools that may help you overcome it.
- Yes, I think these are related concepts. I read a whole host of books that are related and have been influential. Off the top of my head (on top of HSP):
The Big Leap The Sedona Method The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership Hold Me Tight The Four Tendencies
- Read the Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin.
It speaks specifically to this, and basically says if you are motivated by external forces, that's how you're wired and you should capitalize on it... it is a waste of time to try get 'internally' motivated. A lot of people are this way, and there is nothing wrong with it.
I liken it to a car that runs on gas... retrofitting it to run on diesel (or electric) is counter-productive... just tune it up so it efficient at burning gas.
- Maybe he could find out if a less extreme version of your idea works for him. People are motivated by different things. I like Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies as a key to unlock what motivates you. Some people are motivated by being told what to do; Some are highly demotivated by that. If you frame your goal in a way that works with your Tendency, you'll have better success.
For example, if you are a Rebel, you might say to yourself "Normal people are fat conformists. I'll boldly defy the odds and be fit, instead."
See: How Four Personality Types Find Motivation https://www.fastcompany.com/40560193/how-these-4-different-p...
- As many others here have recommended, read Atomic Habits for a good idea of how to go from goal-oriented action to process-oriented action.
> I have strongly come to perceive myself as being driven by external accountabilities which makes me good at work at office but bad at executing personal projects.
I'd also recommend reading The Four Tendencies by Gretchin Rubin, which is an interesting framework for how different people respond to both internal and external expectations. Based on your own personal observation, you'd fall into the most populous category: obliger, i.e., good with external expectations but not internal ones.
- So I’ve been working remotely for the past 3 years and whenever I search for things like “tips for managing virtual teams” or “flexible workforce tips”, I get back super vague listicles with advice like “hire well”, or “engage often”. While true, I’ve always found the results incredibly unhelpful.
This made me want to create a “deeper” article about some of the psychology that I think influences remote teams, along with some thoughts around what leaders can do to combat some of the pitfalls.
I decided to combine my viewpoints with three of my favourite books: Give and Take, Algorithms to Live By, and the Four Tendencies.
I’m interested to hear what other remote workers think. Does remote work influence the give/take balance? Do we need to be more intentional about how we’re designing remote systems? Do you think we can learn anything from the four tendencies data?
PS: If anyone has links to articles that dig deep into the psychology of remote work, I’d love to read them.
