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- Yes, I think these are related concepts. I read a whole host of books that are related and have been influential. Off the top of my head (on top of HSP):
The Big Leap The Sedona Method The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership Hold Me Tight The Four Tendencies
- For this purpose, I've explored a variety of what I'd call "human algorithms" to explore the emotional response to situations in life. I would describe these as structured forms of self-questioning that a person can perform on himself.
Generally, these have rather "New Age" titles: some popular ones include Core Transformation, The Work, the Sedona Method, the Wholeness Process. Tech and computer people are often rather skeptical of such things, but I would recommend giving one or more of them a try. If you don't like mystical or spiritual explanations, it's often easier for sci-math inclined minds to think of these as algorithms that you run on your own neural hardware, for the purpose of improving your subjective experience of well-being in life.
- Sure :-)
The easiest way is to find someone who is emotionally sane. You probably have at least one such person in your life. That person tends to remain calm, yet seem to be fully aware of what is going on around them. They might quietly step in to calm the situation, or perhaps, just their presence seem to calm any panic of fear. People tend to go to them for advice, not necessarily for solving problems, but because hard problems don't seem to seem as hard when you talk to such a person. It might be your mother, father, or grandmother, or grandfather. It might be be a mentor or a teacher. You ask them for help with getting in touch with your emotions. If you have someone like this in your life, and they know you well, then they'll be happy to help you on this... often because they can see how you suffer from being unable to process emotions well.
There are other approaches:
- Take the 10-day Vipassana retreat. You would get in touch with the things that arises within you.
- There are various shamanic medicine ceremonies using some form of psychedelics. These are guided, though the quality will vary. Since psychedelics alter your experiences, it opens up ways to experience emotions.
- You can go to a licensed therapist. Like gurus, meditation teachers, and shamans, quality varies ... and sometimes, therapists will have their own pet theories (as you can see in other parts of the thread on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). A licensed hypnotherapist, or a psychologist/psychiatrist that knows how to use hynotherapy and practices meditation themselves are likely to be able to better help you with this. (Since we're not talking about behavioral modification, we're talking about becoming more self-aware). There may be other indicators, but I don't know this space well. There is usually stigma attached to this since people associate this with going to get "fixed" rather than going to get advice.
- There are also lots and lots of different kinds of seminars, workshops, etc. related to this, often crossing into the woo.
Books are the last resort, though if you read a method and like it, you can check out their their CDs, videos, and attend seminars. Books are good for sampling techniques, though without an in-person guide, it might be difficult to touch intense emotions. On the other hand, if you do have someone in your life that is emotionally sane, you could ask them to help you work with techniques from the book.
One book that is interesting is called the Sedona Method. I want to preface it to say that, what is written in the Sedona Method is not unique, though sometimes the language might make it appear so. The methods are solid though, and the authors used NLP to guide you through the experiences step by step. It is fairly accessible.
Finally, if all else fails or you have more questions or want other ideas or where to go looking for this skill, feel free to contact me. Indirect means of contact are in my profile.
- Hey! I've spent a half hour using your app and it's great! I was feeling a bit tense, confused and unmotivated this morning and going through the technique with your app really made a difference. Thanks!
For those not in the know, this is based on what's sometimes called the Sedona Method. There's a popular book about it by Hale Dwoskin [0] and the questions (and phrasing) in this app are almost exactly the same (the self-questions are an important part of the technique).
I've been geeking out about psychological self-help for a long time and this is by far the simplest and most effective (especially in terms of the ratio between accessibility and effectiveness) method I've come around. The idea, to summarize it crudely, is that you can just let go of feelings. You're a layer cake of stuff and the more you take off the better things get. At first it sometimes feels like "ok, I've let go of this basic thing, but I'm no better off" (it's a bit like the situation you'd find yourself in if you started shoveling a landfill). The technique, apart from the basic insight that you can let go, provides troubleshooting and guidance that let's you get a lot of results from something that is so simple. One of the things that originally attracted me to it was the feeling I had that, whatever the mechanism behind my hangups is, it's simple, but with emergent behaviour, and this really satisfied that part of me, and has been otherwise very rewarding as well.
My favorite book on the topic is Letting Go by David R. Hawkins [1], which is also one of my favorite books of all time. I could sing praises for it for a long time; it's been a big deal for me. If I need a spiritual pick-me-up, that's the book. It's a really good instruction manual for your mind, feelings, emotions. If you think you might lack emotional intelligence, this book is a good place to start too.
If you feel like this method is working for you and you want to learn more, I recommend going back and forth between the two books. They have very different approaches on the same thing. I found that at different times I needed more of the one or the other.
In the app, I noticed that the voice-over "letting go might be new for you" kicks in every time you're going through a new emotion. Might be better if it was there only for the first time.
I think I'll be coming back to this app a lot. Thanks again! Are you considering open sourcing it?
[0] https://www.amazon.com/Sedona-Method-Happiness-Emotional-Wel... [1] https://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-M-D-David-Hawkins/dp/14019...
- You're right (and I say so in the About section), it is based on the Sedona Method. I found the method to be quite tedious to do on paper and I couldn't focus long enough to do it in my head, which was the original reason I built the app.
However, the app works for people who don't know the method, haven't read the book, didn't watch the full DVD from 1992 and didn't attend the weeklong seminar. I think it could bring this to a much wider audience.
Thanks for the bug report, yes, there's a lot more I need to fix in it before hitting the big leagues.
I haven't considered open sourcing it because I want to make a living off it. But I will think about it. There's a more limited version, without narration or the deeper content, that I use for myself and I think I might open source that.
- I find it amusing when I look up "Sedona Method" I find lots of blurbs in the search previews about how simple and powerful it is, yet none of them actually give any clue as to what it involves (but you can buy a book that will reveal the secret!).
Not a criticism of the technique (since I have no idea what it involves, although I'm curious), moreso of the optics to someone searching for it. As opposed to something like the Pomodoro Technique which a search for does turn up blurbs about what it involves.
