Come as you are
An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works--based on groundbreaking research and brain science--that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy. Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist--but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Areexplains it all. The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others' experiences. Because women vary, and that's normal. Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman's arousal, desire, and orgasm. Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it.
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4recommend
5mentions
4people
2019–2023years
100% recommend
Mentions per year
What Hacker News says
- Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski helped me appreciate certain aspects of my sexuality in a way that changed my life wonderfully
- 1. Breathe - James Nestor I was a lifelong nighttime mouth breather due to a very dry winter climate growing up in Chicago, clogged up my sinuses. The book inspired me to look into solutions for this problem and now wake up with considerably less brain fog than I did before.
2. War and Peace / Anna Karenina - I wanted some sort of insight into Russian Imperialism and was surprised by how much my father was like some of the characters (his grandfather was a 'count'). I thought his personality was just a quirk of his since he was unlike anyone I knew growing up. He fit the Tolstoyan characterization of a noble like a glove, warts and all.
3. History of the Peloponnesian War - So many of the conflicts today are exemplified in the ancient Greek world and the relationships between the city states as described in the book. Hard to believe (I don't believe) that Thucydides could remember these lengthy speeches given by emissaries in various scenarios, but what is written is nonetheless riveting. It's great context for my current read, Plato's Republic, which was heavily influenced by the Athenian (democracy's) defeat against the Spartan oligarchy.
4. Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski
Shedding light on different sexual perspectives and experiences for something that is usually kept deep in the dark.
- I am that - Nisargadatta Maharaj
Come as you Are - Emily Nagosky
The Fifth Sacred Thing - Starhawk
The ministry of the Future - Kim Stanley Robinson
- Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski. It is sold as a book about human sexuality, with a somewhat click-baity subtitle, but turned out to be a beautifully compassionate invitation to self-acceptance and kindness in the context of sexuality, trauma, relationships.
It has some of the best-written (no-fluff, non-patronizing, direct-while-gentle-and-kind) description of trauma and dealing with trauma of all kinds.
One of the life-changing premises for me (paraphrased): 1 in 5 to 1 in 3 women have had trauma-inducing experiences, from sexual coercion to assault to rape. While only 5% of the population acts as (mostly male) perpetrators, there are all these other (also majority male) partners who live with the women carrying the trauma and dealing with it. Doing this without any kind of understanding or education is very difficult, and even a small amount of understanding goes a long way.
- Not yet mentioned: Come As You Are (Emily Nagoski). Sexuality book written for women that should be read by all.
