Quiet
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie's birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts. Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts–from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert." This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.
Stats for nerds
43recommend
66mentions
57people
2012–2026years
74% recommend24% neutral2% critical
Mentions per year
What Hacker News says
- I highly recommend the book "Quiet" by Susan Cain. It explores the trait of introversion in depth and makes many thought-provoking commentary about our cultural preference for extroversion. The poster can probably be described as an "ambivert".
At the end of the day, none of these terminologies matter... These labels are just "models" of how we see ourselves. I agree with the sentiment that premature self-labeling is dangerous. Because they tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies. (e.g. I'm not good at math, I'm a nerd, I'm good at hockey, I'm INTJ, I'm an introvert).
- Not who you asked but:
- Quiet - Susan Cain (introversion in general)
- Cues and Captivate - Vanessa Van Edwards (business-focused social skills)
- The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work - Suzette Haden Elgin (I actually didn't enjoy this one too much, didn't finish it, but I think that was a personal mismatch)
- How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dave Carnegie (a lot of the techniques are very, very dated and transparent when used today... but it's pretty foundational and worth a glance anyway)
- Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, (2012) Susan Cain.
- Interesting theory. The notion that some expressions of personality are obstructed by social 'noise' and thus benefit from solitude makes a lot of sense. By their reckoning, solitude is positive, voluntary and purposeful, the means to a desired end. In contrast, loneliness is negative, involuntary, a response to the loss of several sources of social support.
The OP (and others) suggest solitude's desiderata to be: 1) pursuit of a personal passion, and 2) disinterest in affirmation (or criticism) from others, 3) the belief that this journey will be preferable when taken alone.
Do the terms introvert and extrovert capture such personality quirks usefully? And are solitude and loneliness synonymous? I've long thought not.
As I understand the terms (informally), introverts are drained of energy when in a group while extroverts gain energy. But by that definition, loneliness should arise only when extroverts go it alone. Introverts should be immune. But not so, so there must be more to the story.
The best work I've read on the complexities of introversion and the merits of solitude is Susan Cain's marvelous book, "Quiet". As I recall, it confirms the OP's thesis.
- This is such a classically offensive extrovert take. "Because I enjoy random and spontaneous interaction, everyone else must too." Introverts are just a conspiracy by the lazy.
I highly recommend reading Quiet.
I'm lucky enough to have found a team entirely composed of introverts. It's fully remote, and it's the most productive team I've ever been on. We have the most comprehensive test suite I've ever seen, the fastest rate of deployment, the fewest prod incidents, and I'm finally able to stay focused for a whole day without being interrupted for meaningless chit-chat.
That your team hired people who can't be trusted to self-manage is not a reflection on remote work, it's a reflection on your hiring process.
- No, of course not. I'm a big fan of Susan Cain's book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking".
Introverts are not necessarily shy or anti-social – these are qualities found in extroverts and introverts alike.
Introverts just need more energy when they are with other people. Extroverts even gain energy when they are with others.
Given that the noisy, interruption-based marketing style does not work anymore today, introverts are perfectly skilled for marketing: The new forms of marketing that focus on helping people get their problems solved, they give introverts a big advantage.
We introverts just didn't know that, I think. :-)
