Transitions
Taking readers step-by-step through the three perilous stages of any transition, Bridges explains how each stage can be understood and embraced.
Stats for nerds
2recommend
3mentions
3people
2020–2024years
67% recommend33% neutral
Mentions per year
What Hacker News says
- It's very normal to have multiple identities/modes/stages of life, but we only begin to appreciate this after we've been through a couple (aka with age). In the beginning our first identity or two is all we've ever known, so its loss is extremely scary and feels catastrophic.
I felt the same way after leaving my 1st job of 10 years out of college. It was like mourning a death. I was "an employee at X", I was good at it, I liked it. So it was so very worrying, frightful, and confusing when that season of life began to pass, and I was no longer happy with what up to that point had been everything I had been looking for.
Some resources you may find interesting:
[1] On average, friendships last about 7 years (indirectly suggesting that WE tend to change in identities every 7 years or so) - https://mwfseekingbff.com/2012/11/07/friendship-the-seven-ye...
[2] Transitions: Making Sense Of Life's Changes by William Bridges - A great book on the transitions of life, and how society today tries to rush through them, but they are deeply important and must be given the appropriate honor, time, and space. I read this when I was struggling with my own career transition, and it was exactly what I needed at that time in my life. Only by letting transitions run their courses fully can you set healthy foundations for the next stages of your life (and the next stage WILL be fruitful, even if life is full of murkiness and confusion right now).
- I’ve gone through a few transitions in life that relate to this sort of thing, and have worked with a very well known CEO coach on this. His advice was invaluable.
He recommended a book on life transitions[1]. Whether you find wealth, retire, or do something else, such a major life transition often requires you to really invest in reflecting on what has changed, what hasn’t, what the deeper implications are, etc. The book above helps lay out some of those questions.
[1] https://www.amazon.ca/Transitions-Making-Sense-Lifes-Changes...
- This period of doing nothing is termed the "neutral zone" by Ritvik Carvalho (^1).
> "We need not feel defensive about this apparently unproductive time-out at turning points in our lives, for the neutral zone is meant to be a moratorium from the conventional activity of our everyday existence. In the apparently aimless activity of our time alone, we are doing important inner business.", Transitions by William Bridges.
Your post resonated with me deeply. I quit my job in April 2023 to spend 2 years doing nothing "productive". Although I was doing well at work, I lost the hustle. The flame of curiosity seemed to have gone out. I wondered what happened to my past self who was constantly preoccupied with different interests and hobbies.
I thought that traveling would give me some fulfillment. Yet, traveling for the past 7 months left me unfulfilled. I realized the real journey was inward: rediscovering my passions and interests. It's difficult to do that while carrying baggage from your current job.
Here's some further reading below if you're interested. Don't hesitate to reach out, I'm curious to learn what you've done to rediscover your interests and curiosities, and I'm more than happy to share my learnings.
1) https://ritvikcarvalho.substack.com/p/career-transitions-and...
2) The Pathless Path by Paul Millerd
