
In the meantime I understand the struggle. I'm on the other side of it now. My answers work for me, that's enough.
Gotta accept the world the way it is, you can't change it, but you can change you. I've found that stoicism helps a lot. [1] Absurdism helps me a lot as well. [2]
A few books I found helpful along the way
Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl [3]
Ride the Tiger by Julius Evola [4]
Finally, if you can get through all of it, I found this book extremely profound when looked at from a 10,000 ft. view. This combined with Absurdism largely explains my worldview.
Simulacra and Simulation by Jean Baudrillard [5]
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absurdism
[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning
[4] https://www.amazon.com/Ride-Tiger-Survival-Manual-Aristocrat...
Ride The Tiger by Julius Evola.
Unlike most of these suggestions this book will actually give you purpose and meaning in life, but you will be vilified for even mentioning it. That's how you know it's good.
