The Courage to Be Disliked

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1. swed420Oct 2026
   > Who feels part of something greater when there are bodies demanding money off you?

   Anybody who is part of something greater, and who has learned to not depend on various addictions, wealth signaling, etc for greater fulfillment. A lot of this is in the mind, and really just a matter of adopting healthy perspectives on life.

   > I've been homeless.

   I've been very close to it, so I can empathize with the struggle. I'm not suggesting people should be homeless and give themselves away. Just that most people require far less to be happy than society has conditioned them to believe, but that doesn't become obvious until you shift your perspective.

   If you're truly interested on how somebody might get there, consider giving this a look:

   The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi

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2. robotnikmanSep 2026
   >Being nothing special is quite different.

   Related, I would also recommend the book "The courage to be disliked"

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3. dnlosxAug 2026
   My process was a multi-year process of recognizing my vulnerabilities. A couple of things that come to mind.

   Meeting and liking people who were really different from me, with mindsets completely different. The kind of people I would previously judge as "dumb" were suddenly teaching things that improved my life. For example, my beliefs are science-oriented, and I am very skeptical, but now I have close friends who are esotericists, and I really enjoy passing time with them.

   The book "The Courage To Be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. Help me a lot to understand myself and my insecurities.

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4. chiefalchemistApr 2026
   To clarify, I wasn’t trying to belittle you. While the internet is fond of spreading myths about narcissism, few actual realize NPD is a proper disorder in the DSM-5.

   Btw, there are two types of NPD. The typical over the top bravado version, and the less recognizable “passive aggression “ version. Same core inner issues, just two different defense mechanisms.

   Things I’ve read that you might find fascinating a/o helpful:

   - The Courage to be Disliked. This book change my lens on human behavior - my own, as well as that of others.

   - Just about anything by Ellen Langer. She’s exceptional at challenging the status quo, and making “Gee, I never thought of that in that way” observations.

   - 50 Psychology Classics by Tom Butler Bowden. Even the brief summaries have helpful ideas.

   Again, I apologize if I stepped on your toes. That was not my intention. TBH I recently left a relationship where my exGF sounded a lot like you in many ways. In addition, Tho she said she was a recovering alcoholic, I’m convinced she suffered from NPD and recovery and AA simple fit that profile (I.e., lack of accountability, made playing the victim card easy, using it as a tool for manipulation, etc.)(1) I don’t beliefe it was intentional per se, as much as over a lifetime she had crafted a lifestyle for so long that it was perfectly natural for her. It wasn’t a defense mechanism. It was as natural as breathing. This will all make more sense once you read The Courage to Be Disliked

   (1) all these are classic NPD

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5. chiefalchemistJan 2026
   After multiple recommendations, recently I finally read “The Courage to be Disliked” which is a fictional representation of Alfred Adler’s view of psychology / human behavior.

   Shifting from a Freudian paradigm to an Adlerian one has been massive. I’d rather be an accountable self-determining adult than an adult who attributes my flaws to traumas long gone.

   If you’re serious about self-directed change, Adler is a good place to start.

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6. wxwDec 2025
   This year I quite enjoyed:

   - The Bright Sword, Lev Grossman Modern take on King Arthur, very fun, wild ride.

   - The Courage to Be Disliked, Ichiro Kishimi Philosophy as a dialogue between teacher and student, lots to think about.

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