Authentic Happiness

What Hacker News says

1. throwaw-zxcvbnMay 2019
   It is not easy.

   While at university, I once went to the university shrink and said, look, I have no motivation, I can't get myself to go to the gym and exercise, I don't manage to get a good sleep rhythm, I eat crap, I don't study enough, I have no discipline.

   The guy says, well, I know exactly what's wrong and what you need to do: you need to develop more discipline, study more, eat healthy, develop a regular sleep rhythm, go to the gym and exercise, and be more motivated.

   No shit! Thanks Sherlock.

   So, here my attempt to give slightly more useful advice. I read research concluding that behavioural change can come about through three means:

   1. an epiphany (eg someone you know develops cancer, and you suddenly realise what's important) - rare.

   2. a significant change in surroundings (eg you move to a different country) - rare.

   3. baby steps, but sustained baby steps. Like an oil tanker - you change the direction by just a degree (and even that is hard), but over years you end up at a better place.

   The latter is realistic. (Found the source: https://www.tinyhabits.com )

   I'd try:

   * be compassionate and benevolent towards yourself. Sure, you have flaws, but nobody is perfect. Do not compare yourself to others (particularly not to Instagram caricatures or Nobel laureates or Fields medalists or so). Depending on what motivates you, you could consider this effort (taking care of yourself and being good to yourself) as a duty, or as a challenge, or as a commandment, or an axiom, or a tool. (This does not mean that you should be egocentric and selfish, just the opposite: you have to be healthy and strong so you can better help others!)

   * recognise that bias in self-perception is ok, and both overconfidence and "underconfidence" have advantages and disadvantages. Now, for you, it's the way it is, no need to beat yourself up for it, now let's work with what's there.

   * read the book "Mindset" by Carol Dweck. (Someone recommended the Stoics ("A Guide to the Good Life"), but not sure how applicable that is here, though it is a great book. It emphasises the idea that you should not care so much about things, but about your response to them - the only thing you can change is yourself, your own behaviour.)

   * set some small goals (just say hello to someone at a conference or ask someone a question in supermarket, wake up at 8am for a week, read 15 mins of documentation every day for something you want to learn, ... ), try your best, and don't beat yourself up if you don't manage one day - just get back on the horse. Just get back on the horse. Take a smaller horse if need be, and get back up.

   * check out Martin Seligman and "Positive Psychology", "Authentic Happiness".

   * maybe do consider going to a psychotherapist employing CBT.

   Show morethread
2. asherDec 2011
   Martin Seligman, who has been mentioned above, also has a book "Authentic Happiness" which you might find interesting. As he points out, and you have experienced, inborn predisposition is the biggest factor in happiness.

   However there are other big factors which you can partially control. You've probably already discovered some of them.

   I think you would like the book because Seligman recognizes the fundamental difficulty of the problem. As you may have guessed, Seligman himself is predisposed to unhappiness.

   Show morethread
3. lclaude01Apr 2011
   1.Accountability in action 2.The art of extreme sel-care 3.the art of innovation 4.the art of war 5.authentic happiness 6.axiom 7.the big three 8.the brain that changes itself 9.broken windows, broken business 10.change or die 11.change your toughts, change your life 12.citizen marketers 13.confidence 14.confronting reality 15.dance of change 16.death by meeting 17.dynasties 18.the education of an accidental CEO 19.Einstein 20.Execution 21.felling good together 22.the fifth discipline 23.flawless consulting 24.flight plan 25.fooled by randomness 26.fountain head 27.the four obsessions of an extraordinary executive 28.the four seasons of mariage 29.getting to yes 30.giant steps 31.good business 32.the google story 33.the great bridge 34.group genius 35.the heart of change 36.highlight of the perfect sales process 37.how to start a consulting service 38.how to win friends and influence people 39.idioms 40.influencer 41.innovation and entrepreneurship 42.the innovator's dilemma 43.inside Drucker's brain 44.inspire! why customer come back 45.the intelligent investor 46.irrational exuberance 47.it's not about the coffee 48.Jack: straight from the gut 49.judgment 50.the leader in me 51.life makeovers 52.linked 53.the long walk 54.madde to stick 55.the magic of thinking 56.man's search for meaning 57.managing in the next society 58.managing oneself 59.managing transitions 60.the mariage you always wanted 61.the message 62.mindfulness 63.Moneyball: the art of winning an unfair game 64.the new psycho-cybernetics 65.the no asshole rule 66.outliers 67.the personnality code 68.planet google 69.pour your heart into it 70.the power of intention 71.the power of positive thinking 72.the richest man in babylon 73.rule 1 74.the science of getting rich 75.screamfree parenting 76.the search 77.shackleton's way 78.the snowball 79.social intelligence 80.speak to win: how to present with power in any situation 81.the spontaneous fulfillment 82.the structure of scientific revolutions 83.strength finder 84.success built 85.take time for your life 86.talking dirty with the queen of clean 87.team of rivals 88.the ten faces of innovation 89.the three signs of a miserable job 90.transparency 91.ultrametabolism 92.the wal-mart way 93.the warren buffet way 94.what make an effective executive 95.what would google do? 96.a whole new mind 97.the whuffie factor 98.winning 99.the wisdom of crowds 100.writing down the bones 101.zero 102.the 4 hour work week 103.the 80/20 individual 104.the 80/20 principal
   Show morethread