Name: Positive discipline
ISBN: 9780345487674

Positive discipline

For twenty-five years, Positive Discipline has been the gold standard reference for grown-ups working with children. Now Jane Nelsen, distinguished psychologist, educator, and mother of seven, has written a revised and expanded edition. The key to positive discipline is not punishment, she tells us, but mutual respect. Nelsen coaches parents and teachers to be both firm and kind, so that any child–from a three-year-old toddler to a rebellious teenager–can learn creative cooperation and self-discipline with no loss of dignity. Inside you’ll discover how to • bridge communication gaps • defuse power struggles • avoid the dangers of praise • enforce your message of love • build on strengths, not weaknesses • hold children accountable with their self-respect intact • teach children not what to think but how to think • win cooperation at home and at school • meet the special challenge of teen misbehavior “It is not easy to improve a classic book, but Jane Nelson has done so in this revised edition. Packed with updated examples that are clear and specific, Positive Discipline shows parents exactly how to focus on solutions while being kind and firm. If you want to enrich your relationship with your children, this is the book for you.” –Sal Severe, author of How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! Millions of children have already benefited from the counsel in this wise and warmhearted book, which features dozens of true stories of positive discipline in action.

What Hacker News says

DesafinadoNov 2024

The book 'Positive Discipline' by Jane Nelsen was also instrumental to our approach.

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DesafinadoFeb 2024

Read Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen. It's a classic and it's lessons are key.

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unityByFreedomJul 2022

Along with setting expectations, you can set consequences.

"If you do X, I will do Y."

With that understanding, you've left your child a choice, and you are not being an authoritarian parent, provided your consequences are within reason. Many parents will simply do Y without letting their child know the consequences ahead of time. That can lead to disdain of the parent, rightfully so!

If your boss asks you to setup a meeting, and you invite a salesperson he didn't want there, and he demotes you from being "meeting organizer" for that, is it justified? Was he clear it was an engineering meeting, or tell you not to include salespeople? It depends on the context. Maybe you needed to learn something, maybe he did, or maybe you both did.

Many parenting books do not regard this as "Punishment", yet it is still discipline. See "Positive Discipline" for more on this topic.

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ijustboughtitDec 2021

My daughter is 3.5 years old. Great that you asked. Please don’t do that.

I can recommend this book series and in particular “Positive Discipline: The First Three Years”

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0804141185/

For anyone reading this, don’t get caught up by the “discipline” in the book title. The authors are against punishment.

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flakinessJun 2021

I think it's worth pointing out that practicing this is hard, at least tome me. Being humorous/funny is one of the points in the book (IIRC), but being funny is often tough when you're angry, frustrated or just tired.

So I agreed that piece-by-piece reading and re-reading help. These tips aren't easy to stick.

As a companion, some parenting books like Positive Discipline [1] might be worth a quick glance. These parenting books have certain similarities with "How to Talk" and some other books in this thread, like "Crucial Conversation". It's eye-opening.

(And I realized that this reply matches a typical anti-pattern called "too much speak". It's hard to put it in practice!)

[1] https://www.amazon.com/Positive-Discipline-Self-Discipline-R...

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DelmaniaJun 2015

> Did any of you read a helpful book that approached prenatal nutrition (I cook for us), preparation, early child rearing, etc. from a scientific or "hacker" perspective?

Full stop. Drop the "hacker" perspective from this discussion. It has no place here, children are more important than that. If you want to have a scientific approach, pick up some psychology books.

I think the best book from raising children is Positive Discipline, Outside of that, the best way to be a dad is to constantly remind your children you love them, give them lots of hugs, and remember to support their interests, not yours.

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