The Power of a Positive No
No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the language. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No--to people at work, at home, and in our communities--because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us. But as we all know, the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That's why saying No the right way is crucial. The secret to saying No without destroying relationships lies in the art of the Positive No, a proven technique that anyone can learn. This indispensable book gives you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No. It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your No firm and strong; how to resist the other side's aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to Yes. In the end, the Positive No will help you get not just to any Yes but to the right Yes, the one that truly serves your interests. Based on William Ury's celebrated Harvard University course for managers and professionals, The Power of a Positive No offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying No in virtually any situation. Whether you need to say No to your customer or your coworker, your employee or your CEO, your child or your spouse, you will find in this book the secret to saying No clearly, respectfully, and effectively.
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What Hacker News says
- A book that helped me a lot in this regard:
- "The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal, Save The Relationship and Still Say No" by William Ury, the Co-Founder of the Harvard Program on Negotiation
- Read the book "The Power of a Positive No" (from the "Getting to Yes" guy). It's about how to say No all the time without being an asshole. It should be required reading in software engineering classes.
- 1. The power of a positive no 2. Black box thinking 3. Difficult conversations 4. Transcending loss 5. Braving the wilderness 6. Motherless daughters 7. The happy medium 8. Deep work 9. The golden sayings of Epictetus 10. The best interface is no interface 11. 101 essays that will change the way you think 12. Leaders eat last
Will keep adding more as I remember. Hope this helps :)
- Regarding saying no - I really like the way described in "The Power of a Positive No" by William Ury. The main idea in the book can be described as: Yes! No. Yes? When you say no to something, there is a reason. For example, you say no to working late, because you want to spend time with your family. The first yes is the yes you say to being with your family, and it is the reason you then say no to working late. The third yes is the effort to keep the relationship positive, even though you have said no.
This formula is a great way of saying no in a positive way, and the whole book is spent explaining the formula and how to apply it. There are many examples throughout the book, and William Ury does a great job teaching the reader how to say no in the best possible way. Even if you don’t normally have a hard time saying no, it is still valuable to read, because the system he lays out is so well thought out. It’s a quick read, and all the examples make it even easier to understand.
- "The Power of a Positive No" http://www.williamury.com/books/the-power-of-a-positive-no/
They should cover that book in software engineering classes. It's a great way to deal with overwhelming floods of feature requests.
- William Ury, of "Getting to Yes" fame, also has a book titled "The Power of a Positive No" that directly addresses your question. It should be required reading for all software developers. http://www.williamury.com/books/the-power-of-a-positive-no/
Really, if everyone on Earth read those two books and his "Getting Past No", the world would be a much happier place.
