Messages

What Hacker News says

1. m_j_gJun 2021
   Messages: The Communication Skills Book Di Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, Patrick Fanning

   Basics, without any controversial ideas. This book helped me a lot.

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2. markstosJul 2020
   "Messages" by Matthew McKay.

   "Mindset" by Carol Dweck.

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3. starpilotNov 2019
   Unsolicited advice feels like criticism. It almost never is intended as such, but that's often how it feels. It's also almost always self-serving; the advisor wants to be a hero, and the recipient picks up on this and ends up feeling alone. Really recommend the book Messages: The Communications Skills Book by McKay.
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4. bigfontJul 2019
   These are the books and resources that have been of the most use to me:

   # Assertiveness:

   Alberti, R. E., & Emmons, M. (1995). Your Perfect Right. San Luis Obispo, California: Impact Publishers.

   Paterson, R. J. (2000). The assertiveness workbook: How to express your ideas and stand up for yourself at work and in relationships. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

   # Anger Management:

   McKay, M. & Rogers, R. (2000). The Anger Control Workbook: Simple, innovative techniques for managing anger and developing healthier ways of relating. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

   # Social & Emotional Intelligence:

   Bilsker, D., Gilbert, M., & Samra, J. (2009). Antidepressant Skills at Work: Dealing with mood problems in the workplace. Retrieved from http://www.comh.ca/antidepressant-skills/work/workbook/pages....

   McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The Communication Skills Book. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

   # Some High Level Take Home Messages

   - negotiate your own behavior

   - everyone is doing the best they can

   - communication is goal oriented

   - humans make more sense when we understand the hidden variables

   - it's possible to use social skills and to be authentic

   I built https://socialarts.club as a side-project for my own use; it might someday be useful to others once I have added privacy measures.

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