Expecting better
Pregnancy--unquestionably one of the most profound, meaningful experiences of adulthood--can reduce otherwise intelligent women to, well, babies. We're told to avoid cold cuts, sushi, alcohol, and coffee, but aren't told why. Rules for prenatal testing are hard and fast--and unexplained. Are all of these recommendations right for every mom-to-be? Here, the author shows that pregnancy rules are often misguided and sometimes flat-out wrong. Pregnant women face an endless stream of decisions, from the casual to the frightening. Expecting Better presents the hard facts and real-world advice you won't get at the doctor's office or in the existing literature.
Stats for nerds
13recommend
23mentions
18people
2013–2024years
74% recommend26% neutral
Mentions per year
What Hacker News says
- I loved reading Expecting Better and its sequel The Crib Sheet. The books are written by an economist who was annoyed when doctors could not explain why there was a certain guidance (e.g. no caffeine during pregnancy) so she researched all the studies behind various guidance. The book ends up being really informative, kind of going over all the stages of pregnancy, and also debunks some common guidance. It's also a weirdly comforting book, because oftentimes when you look at the data you realize you have a lot of wiggle room on things.
- I'm sorry to tell you this, but everything in life cannot be algorithmically driven. As others have said, generally speaking your baby is YOUR baby and you have to learn as you go and adapt. Take it a few days at a time, tackle the current issues, and repeat.
On the data driven side, Emily Oster and her prenatal (Expecting Better) and postpartum (Cribsheet) books are great resources, but they hardly prepare you for parenting. Those books can help you make some macro decisions for sure, but overall parenting is an experience which will likely be the most mentally challenging thing you've done, barring any exceedingly traumatizing events.
- Baby Owner's Technical Manual
It covers the absolute basics with diagrams. Lovely little intro book.
The Montessori Baby
Covers the theory of what babies need and presents a good minimum of what they need without making you buy a ton. You won't and shoukd not 100% follow this book but adapt it for yourself.
Expecting Better and Crib Sheets
Oster does an excellent job at listing research, evaluating studies and drawing conclusions. Her substack is also worth while.
- Congrats!
I became a dad 17 months ago. I would do both 1 & 2 if possible, and 3 if you feel like it. Total time cost is less than a weekend.
1. The Birth Partner - https://www.pennysimkin.com/shop/the-birth-partner-5th-editi...
You can get by just skipping to the yellow-highlighted pages. They're 1-2 page How To's or summaries. Like a checklist of the stuff to put in your Go Bag.
2. Talk to different types of people about parenting and make notes about what's most important to you.
Don't leave out older people. Despite the mass amount of new literature about how to raise kids, being a parent hasn't changed that much in 2 generations.
3. Expecting Better - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/310896/expecting-be...
Easy to skip to just the chapters you want to learn about. E.g. if you end up needing/wanting genetic testing, you could read that chapter and nothing else.
- Echoing the other comments to recommend Expecting Better by Emily Oster. All of the other books I tried to read were poorly researched and borderline condescending. She digs up the (sometimes decades old and poor quality) research that underpins all the "conventional wisdom" and gives you the statistics to make your own risk calculations.
- "The Montessori Baby" by Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike. Even if you don't intend to go Montessori, the book will teach you a lot of alternatives you won't hear about in the standard literature. Did you know instead of a crib, you can give your kid a floor bed? That way when the kid wakes up in the middle of the night (as all kids do!) they can quietly self entertain and go back to sleep. Also just good advice on how to interact with kids - cooperatively.
"Expecting Better" (pregnancy), "Crib sheet" (infant) and "Family Firm" (family dynamics) by Emily Oster. Dr Oster (economics, not md) reviews guidelines, their underlying evidence and talks about alternatives. She provides sensible recommendations (and does frequently support the guidelines!). She is the most quoted in our house, especially the "It can't just work for the child. It has to work for the whole family."
Half hearted recommendation for "Secrets of a baby nurse" by Marsha Pod. Some of what she says is no longer SIDs guideline aligned (it was when she wrote it) but she does clearly have a lot of insight and experience and passes that on well. Her method is very experiential ("This is what works for me") and not study based, but some of her tips have saved my butt (hold your kid upright after feeds!).
