Attached
Introduces the theory of adult attachment as an advanced relationship science that can enable individuals to find and sustain love, offering insight into the roles of genetics and early family life in how people approach relationships.
Stats for nerds
11recommend
12mentions
11people
2017–2024years
100% recommend
Mentions per year
What Hacker News says
- 1) Learning about Attachment Theory was a breakthrough; it explains everything about my behavior, relationships, and life choices. It also suggests a method for change and ongoing personal development. Here are some books on Attachment Theory:
Attached https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-You...
A General Theory of Love https://www.amazon.com/General-Theory-Love-Thomas-Lewis/dp/0...
Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair [academic/professional text] https://www.amazon.com/Attachment-Disturbances-Adults-Treatm...
2) It's harder to make friends as you get older. Most friendships are built on an ongoing shared experience that is challenging, such as being in school together. Most of my adult-onset friendships are a result of having worked in small startup companies that were struggling to survive. Casual meetings of potential friends are much less likely to generate the energy and commitment for developing a friendship. If you're interested in the research on this, look into the work of Robin Dunbar, e.g.,
Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships https://www.amazon.com/Friends-Robin-Dunbar/dp/1408711737/
- "Attached" by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.
A very approachable work on the subject, exploring the four attachment types (but recognising that they are on a multi-dimensional spectrum), with real-world examples and practical strategies for coping.
- Attached by Levine and Heller
- Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment by Levine and Heller [0] - this was really useful for understanding relationships and how I and others respond to relationships, love, work, etc. was rather eye opening to me.
Boundaries by Henry Cloud [1] - this seems like a basic concept and I thought I knew about this but this book helped. I expect there are others so reading one or two good ones will probably do, but this is the one I read.
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl [2] - this is not about sex or relationships but about the meaning of life and why. It helped me think about how others view life and while initially I thought this was about professional and spiritual and intellectual purpose, I realized it’s also about finding and connecting with others and that helped me think about interacting with people on a romantic level rather than just with large groups or organizations. It’s a great book overall and probably fits into any person’s mind who is trying to figure out who they are and where they are in the world and where they want to be.
I’m middle aged and ended a decades long relationship a few years ago, so these books are helpful in updating and improving a worldview for sex and relationships.
[0] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9547888
- Harville Hendrix - Getting The Love You Want
Levine Heller - Attached
- Lots of good advice here. I would add that it can be very useful to learn about Attachment Theory, and the different relationship styles and needs that come out of the ways that individuals express adult attachment. Personally, it made some things clear to me that I hadn't fully understood before.
If you want a book thrn Attached by Levine and Heller is a useful book that concentrates on practical understanding and concepts. Recommended.
