
Crucial Conversations show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing good behaviorDiscover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations.Behind the problems that routinely plague organizations and families, you'll find individuals who are either unwilling or unable to deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, failed to live up to commitments, or just plain behaved badly--and nobody steps up to the issue. Or they do, but do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. Accountability suffers and new problems spring up. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating, they're costly--sapping organizational performance by twenty to fifty percent and accounting for up to ninety percent of divorces.Crucial Confrontations teaches skills drawn from 10,000 hours of real-life observations to increase confidence in facing issues like:An employee speaks to you in an insulting tone that crosses the line between sarcasm and insubordination. Now what?Your boss just committed you to a deadline you know you can't meet--and not-so-subtly hinted he doesn't want to hear complaints about it.Your son walks through the door sporting colorful new body art that raises your blood pressure by forty points.
"Emotional Intelligence" is just a marketing term for awareness of other people's emotional needs/thoughts/behaviour/etc. and modulating one's interactions accordingly.
The trick is to do it effectively without allowing oneself to be manipulated/becoming a doormat/hurting the other person's ego.
The books Crucial Conversations and Crucial Confrontations by Kerry Patterson et al. are useful in this regard.
I read these books when I first got into management and they changed so many things about the way I communicate with others. Everything in the books is obvious but things I was never taught growing up.
Learning how to understand others' intentions by the totality of their body language along with what they say is incredibly important. It's helpful for diffusing tense situations, understanding whether or not strangers pose a threat, easing tension in a relationship, etc.