
This is one of the most remarkable books ever written about religious experience. James captures the reader’s attention with vivid instances of religious experience collected from diverse sources, including classical religious texts, newspaper articles, and clinical studies. In this collection of Gifford lectures given in Scotland in 1901, James analyzes religious experience, using wonderful examples, penetrating psychological analysis, and memorable typologies.
BTW there's a book "The night of fire" by Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt that describes a similar experience he got staying alone in a desert. And, of course, countless other descriptions, e.g. "The varieties of religious experience" by W. James. You cannot convince anyone, of course; but there's also no way to fake it.
The mishmash of science and Christian ideas isn't very coherent, and does not come off very well. You really do sound crazy. But, you do sound sincere.
So.
Let's give the benefit of the doubt to a crazy sounding person on the internet.
Let's assume you have had some mystical experiences. You've read some science, you've had some mystical experiences. Now, you are trying to grasp it, or deal with this experience. The struggle is real. To figure out what is going on in the universe and where you fit in, with this experience you've had. I'm assuming you are in the US, so grew up inundated with pop-Christian Dogma and propaganda that has very little relations back to the bible. You took that mishmash of US-Christian non-bible ideas, mixed it with some science, and now sound crazy.
All I can say is, Christianity will lead you down the wrong paths. It is a waste of time at best, damaging at worst. If you do need a Spiritual guide, or help, look to the East. Maybe Buddhism (not pure land), or Advaita Vedanta (hindu influenced by buddhism). Or even some William James (The Varieties of Religious Experience).
Technically, they are also wrong, because no religion/philosophy can explain reality to our little monkey brain, but will at least get you in the right direction. I repeat, they are also wrong, everyone is wrong. But, they at least have some non-damaging ideas. Try some meditation, focus on your breathing, go for a run, eat more vegetables.
Form Is Emptiness, Emptiness Is Form
https://studybuddhism.com/en/advanced-studies/lam-rim/vipash...
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Varieties_of_Religious_E...
I vaguely recall The Soul Of Sex giving me a healthier foundation for my own sexuality.
The Power Of Myth and The Varieties Of Religious Experience for general spiritual goodness.
The Selfish Gene has probably had a deep lingering effect on my thoughts about my life as a biological creature.
Every Page Is Page One is very helpful for realizing (what I believe to be) the higher purpose of technical documentation, which is knowledge sharing.
But other than Taylor, I recommend Robert Bellah's Religion in Human Evolution, William James' The Varieties of Religious Experience, and most books by Nietzsche, but specifically Beyond Good and Evil and The Genealogy of Morality. You might want to pick up an anthology of papers / topics, like Philosophy of Religion: An Anthology by Pojman. Max Weber and Durkheim are also considered to be foundational thinkers in religious sociology. If you get through all that and are looking for something a bit more obscure but super interesting, I would also check out "process philosophy" or "process theology", which addresses a lot of the traditional issues with religious arguments.
