Mark Manson

Journaling is actually a great way of promoting mental and emotional health.

I don't journal daily because I don't have enough to say every day, but I do something similar called "writing therapy", especially when I'm feeling emotionally stuck. I find bad emotions to only be bothersome because they are inside and unprocessed. Externalizing emotions onto a physical page (not digital!) helps me process them. The physical act of subsequently crumpling the piece of paper and throwing it out is catharsis. The act itself somehow tells my brain not to hold on to certain feelings -- I've done the work to process them and I can now let them go.

I do this when I'm experiencing minor issues that don't rise to the level of needing to talk to a $150/hr therapist. Some people prefer talking things out, but I prefer writing.

"So what do therapy, journaling, and meditation all have in common?

All three are techniques to help us convert what is usually the subject of our consciousness into the object of our consciousness.

That’s it." [1]

[1] https://markmanson.net/how-to-get-better

If we replace the word "asshole" with "criminals", few except a couple of hardline conservatives would assume that one's destiny in life is being a criminal from the day you are born. Instead, as far as I understand most research, lots of external factors play a major role here.

That probably is exactly the same here. These men have been socially conditioned to be assholes. Which, in my eyes, means that there actually should be room for some empathy. Which doesn't mean excusing their behavior, but it means understanding that despite their power and money, they are like every other human being the product of their environment and culture.

And this culture is a joint product of every single member of it.

Mark Manson wrote an insightful essay about this, titled "What's the problem with men". Tl;dr: "We unfairly objectify women in society for their beauty and sex appeal. Similarly, we unfairly objectify men for their professional success and aggression."

https://markmanson.net/whats-the-problem-with-men

I agree with a lot of what you said and think you did a good job saying it!

> Every night I've watched thousands of unarmed peaceful protestors march by, demanding action. Meanwhile the NYPD is out in full military gear firing chemical weapons and rubber bullets indiscriminately at anyone who looks at them the wrong way.

I was forwarded an interesting newsletter today from Mark Manson. He talks about holding contradictory ideas in our minds and how uncomfortable that can make us. How much easier is can be to fall back on confirmation bias and fallacies of composition/division.

It’s much easier to think of the protestors as all peaceful and the cops as indiscriminate thugs than to wrestle with the messy middle of some rioting looters causing mayhem and mostly peace loving officers trying to deescalate.

I recommend reading it and I found it thoughtful and basically apolitical until the left learning ending.

https://markmanson.net/newsletters/mindfck-monday-33

This is so important. I also believe that this is the central conflict between the disenfranchised and the entitled. Yes, we despise evil, but we do nothing but help create it by turning on those we perceive as bad people the second we're given the go ahead.

"I can do better as a human being with empathy towards someone who is broken; sad and probably doesn't understand why people hate him."

If we ever want to stop hatred, if we ever want to stop violence, if we ever want to fundamentally stop the same alienated people who turn to mass violence as their destructive outlets, we have to do it with empathy.

This article is great, and I post it every time the gun control argument comes up after every mass shooting that comes up:

http://markmanson.net/school-shootings

Empathy is the only thing that will save us. It might not save us all, but we have to try.

> Has anyone had any luck finding a way to put perspective on it, or figure out a lie that helps keep you going?

Don't lie to yourself, it's no good trying to build some delusional version of the world, your subconscious mind knows how to look through the cracks of the mirror and the dead weight will rear its head at some point and pull down at the worst possible moment.

Getting some perspective is about learning to take a step back and contemplate (practicing mindfulness and meditation may help in strengthening the matching neural pathways). Yet keep in mind that it does not mean being indifferent[0]. Pick your fights, choose to act upon what you can and desire to[1]. Find balance.

[0]: (Warning: copious profanity) https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck

[1]: https://i1.wp.com/thebestintent.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/ikigai_Toronto-star.jpg

> I'm very outgoing, but I have love shyness or something like that. I basically don't date. I find the entire thing extremely stressful and unbearable. I've always been alone.

I can relate to this a lot. If I may make a recommendation - despite the awful name, Models[0] by Mark Manson[1] did a lot to re-frame my interaction with women I'm romantically interested in. It takes the refreshing approach that rather than learning tricks or lines like other male-oriented dating books this one comes from a place of honesty and vulnerability. He has a blog [2] if you want a taste of his writing.

[0] https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24
[1] Better known for his book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck'
[2] https://markmanson.net/archive